Absorbent and Yellow and Porous is He

Marty (holding a wrapper from an Easter Twix, which I must say is the least Eastery looking candy wrapper I've ever seen): I know how to spell Twix

Mommy: Oh, yeah?

Marty: T-W-I-X

Mommy: Yep, that's Twix.

Marty: Actually it's twick

Mommy: Why is it "twick"?

Marty (referring, I keep telling myself, to the universal "you" not "you" as in "you, Mommy": Because when you eat too many of these, they go straight to your thighs

Mommy (ready to place a snotty phone call to whoever is giving our kiddies food issues): Who told you that?

Marty: Spongebob did. He said Squidward was eating too many crabby patties.

Mommy: Yeah, that'll do it.