So Long, Farewell, (We'll Be Right Back)
Part of my planning for the big outing to see the Sound of Music today was to avoid having either of the girls announce in the middle of “My Favorite Things” that they had to go to the bathroom. This was important because visiting new bathrooms is one of their favorite things. They both went to the bathroom right before we left so that they would be good until intermission. Unfortunately, we had to arrive so early and the show started so late, that by the time intermission rolled around, they were both desperate to go, and it had nothing to do with checking out a new bathroom.
The fatal flaw in my planning? I assumed that the theater would be filled with other families from on post. Instead it was filled, to the brim, with little old ladies. Some came on buses, some came in vans, some drove themselves. But whatever the mode of transportation, there were probably 200 little old ladies in the audience, and at intermission every one of them needed to use one of the two ladies' room stalls available for the entire theater. Although the situation began to dawn on me as Maria was sneaking back to the Abbey, I did not get a big enough jump on sneaking to the rear of the theater, so by the time we got there the line was already out the door. Not to disparage the little old lady population, but they are not what you would call speedy when it comes to having their turn in the ladies’ room.
So I did the last thing in the world that I ever want to do, I put all three kids back into their carseats and drove two blocks to another public bathroom. I figured with 200 little old ladies in line at the theater, the intermission was going to have to be extended. The girls went to the bathroom and since we had missed our chance to get popcorn when we fled the theater, I bought them a quick package of starburst (quiet candy), loaded them back up and drove back to the theater and put the car back in the same spot. The worst part about this entire episode was that I had to carry Marty (who is becoming quite the heavy young man) and hold Lauren’s hand for much of the journey, and now I feel I may permanently lean to the side (an ailment that may come back to haunt me when I am a little old lady).
When we got back to our seats, we still had another 5 or 10 minutes to spare. As the lights dimmed and the orchestra started its overture, I made a mental note to endow new bathrooms at the theater if I ever win the lottery.
The fatal flaw in my planning? I assumed that the theater would be filled with other families from on post. Instead it was filled, to the brim, with little old ladies. Some came on buses, some came in vans, some drove themselves. But whatever the mode of transportation, there were probably 200 little old ladies in the audience, and at intermission every one of them needed to use one of the two ladies' room stalls available for the entire theater. Although the situation began to dawn on me as Maria was sneaking back to the Abbey, I did not get a big enough jump on sneaking to the rear of the theater, so by the time we got there the line was already out the door. Not to disparage the little old lady population, but they are not what you would call speedy when it comes to having their turn in the ladies’ room.
So I did the last thing in the world that I ever want to do, I put all three kids back into their carseats and drove two blocks to another public bathroom. I figured with 200 little old ladies in line at the theater, the intermission was going to have to be extended. The girls went to the bathroom and since we had missed our chance to get popcorn when we fled the theater, I bought them a quick package of starburst (quiet candy), loaded them back up and drove back to the theater and put the car back in the same spot. The worst part about this entire episode was that I had to carry Marty (who is becoming quite the heavy young man) and hold Lauren’s hand for much of the journey, and now I feel I may permanently lean to the side (an ailment that may come back to haunt me when I am a little old lady).
When we got back to our seats, we still had another 5 or 10 minutes to spare. As the lights dimmed and the orchestra started its overture, I made a mental note to endow new bathrooms at the theater if I ever win the lottery.
posted by Shannon at 10:20 PM
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