The Twenty-First Amendment
The other day when I arrived to pick up Marty, his teachers were laughing and debating whether to tell me something he had said. I figured it might be related to the detailed yet somehow skewed specifics of potty-training that he often spouts. Instead, she said (in a whisper), "Today Marty asked me if I drink W. I. N. E."
I was momentarily puzzled, because I didn't realize that Marty knew how to spell wine. But then I realized she was whispering and spelling it to save me some sort of embarrassment. When I started to laugh, I guess she felt she could continue the story,"I said 'no' and he said 'Well my daddy does.'" There was some furtive glancing between the teachers which made me think that he also said "My mommy does too. All the time. From the really big glass."
It reminded me of one time when we were in a rest stop in Kentucky around 10:00 am. We were attempting to drive from Louisville to Lexington, a trip that does not require a rest stop, but the HP had to stop to take a call from work, and since we were stopped, 2-year-old Aislinn figured she'd better go to the bathroom. As we were walking back out through the mostly empty echoing lobby I told her that we were going to go get Daddy a drink. She declared, "Yeah, we're going to go get Daddy a beer! Daddy loves beer!" One nearby little old lady who had started to smile and give me the "isn't she cute" nod was suddenly stricken with a look of horrified surprise. Another older couple laughed a little and said "That's quite a word for a little girl to know." I smiled and left, not embarrassed but happy that we now had something funny to talk about on our seemingly endless 90-minute trip.
I appreciate that Marty's teachers were trying to be discreet when discussing our drinking habits, but it was just another example about how life among the teetotalers is starting to get tiresome. Just because our kids are familiar with wine and beer (the words not the tastes) doesn't mean they are living in some sort of gin house. Sometimes I would like to step out the front door and shout "Alcohol consumption couldn't be more legal. They tried to get rid of it and it didn't work. So Bottoms Up you self-righteous @#$$%s!!" And then I would bend down and take the beer away from the baby.
I was momentarily puzzled, because I didn't realize that Marty knew how to spell wine. But then I realized she was whispering and spelling it to save me some sort of embarrassment. When I started to laugh, I guess she felt she could continue the story,"I said 'no' and he said 'Well my daddy does.'" There was some furtive glancing between the teachers which made me think that he also said "My mommy does too. All the time. From the really big glass."
It reminded me of one time when we were in a rest stop in Kentucky around 10:00 am. We were attempting to drive from Louisville to Lexington, a trip that does not require a rest stop, but the HP had to stop to take a call from work, and since we were stopped, 2-year-old Aislinn figured she'd better go to the bathroom. As we were walking back out through the mostly empty echoing lobby I told her that we were going to go get Daddy a drink. She declared, "Yeah, we're going to go get Daddy a beer! Daddy loves beer!" One nearby little old lady who had started to smile and give me the "isn't she cute" nod was suddenly stricken with a look of horrified surprise. Another older couple laughed a little and said "That's quite a word for a little girl to know." I smiled and left, not embarrassed but happy that we now had something funny to talk about on our seemingly endless 90-minute trip.
I appreciate that Marty's teachers were trying to be discreet when discussing our drinking habits, but it was just another example about how life among the teetotalers is starting to get tiresome. Just because our kids are familiar with wine and beer (the words not the tastes) doesn't mean they are living in some sort of gin house. Sometimes I would like to step out the front door and shout "Alcohol consumption couldn't be more legal. They tried to get rid of it and it didn't work. So Bottoms Up you self-righteous @#$$%s!!" And then I would bend down and take the beer away from the baby.
posted by Shannon at 12:16 PM
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