Caution: Slippery When Dry
On Friday as I was attempting to clean up the house before our trip, I cleaned off the dining room table and then dusted it/removed the petrified layer of fingerprints and food particles with my handy bottle of Pledge. After I vacuumed the rug, I bent to down to attempt to pry some dried rice out of the nap of the carpet. That was when I noticed some marks on the hardwood floor right next to the carpet, likely the remnants of a dropped sippy cup that sprayed just a few drops of chocolate milk around.
Why oh why didn't I follow my usual pattern of ignoring messes that are not large and troubling? Instead, I thought to myself, "I've got some wood cleaner right here. This floor is wood - it'll work right?"
Oh did it work. Now instead of a floor I have an ice rink along the dining room rug, a major spot of thorofare through the front of the house. As I continued to straighten up, every time I walked past that part of the room, I slipped like Fred Flintstone, throwing my arms up to keep my balance. Eventually I came to the realization that normal people want their tables smooth and shiny, but not their floors. Nowhere on the Pledge can do they recommend using it on floors, but in my defense, nowhere do they discourage it either.
Of course, after 10 or 12 of these episodes, it occurred to me that while the smack of my backside hitting the floor might be quite comical, the sickening smack of one of the kiddies' heads hitting the hardwood would not be so funny. I tried washing the floor with soap, but that did not make it any better. Eventually I had to go out and pick up the kiddies and leave for the weekend, so I decided I would try to come up with another solution over the weekend.
Unfortunately, I forgot all about the slick spot until we got home late Monday, when I slipped on my first pass through the dining room. Usually the kiddies are efficient at making messes, but so far, no spills (on that part of the room anyway). So for safety's sake, I have pulled a hallway rug up next to the dining room rug to cover the slippery spot. The kiddies think this is a brilliant decorating move. Visitors (not that we have many) will likely think that I am a dolt, and so I will be required to recount this ridiculous story of my inability to properly utilize cleaning products.
When oh when will I learn my lesson? Housework is never a good idea.
Why oh why didn't I follow my usual pattern of ignoring messes that are not large and troubling? Instead, I thought to myself, "I've got some wood cleaner right here. This floor is wood - it'll work right?"
Oh did it work. Now instead of a floor I have an ice rink along the dining room rug, a major spot of thorofare through the front of the house. As I continued to straighten up, every time I walked past that part of the room, I slipped like Fred Flintstone, throwing my arms up to keep my balance. Eventually I came to the realization that normal people want their tables smooth and shiny, but not their floors. Nowhere on the Pledge can do they recommend using it on floors, but in my defense, nowhere do they discourage it either.
Of course, after 10 or 12 of these episodes, it occurred to me that while the smack of my backside hitting the floor might be quite comical, the sickening smack of one of the kiddies' heads hitting the hardwood would not be so funny. I tried washing the floor with soap, but that did not make it any better. Eventually I had to go out and pick up the kiddies and leave for the weekend, so I decided I would try to come up with another solution over the weekend.
Unfortunately, I forgot all about the slick spot until we got home late Monday, when I slipped on my first pass through the dining room. Usually the kiddies are efficient at making messes, but so far, no spills (on that part of the room anyway). So for safety's sake, I have pulled a hallway rug up next to the dining room rug to cover the slippery spot. The kiddies think this is a brilliant decorating move. Visitors (not that we have many) will likely think that I am a dolt, and so I will be required to recount this ridiculous story of my inability to properly utilize cleaning products.
When oh when will I learn my lesson? Housework is never a good idea.
posted by Shannon at 11:35 PM
1 Comments:
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Sorry. Was laughing all the way through the post...
I recently put together a calendar for Jim on Shutterfly and included "National Holiday's" I found online. Did you know that April 7th is NO HOUSEWORK DAY??? Neither did I! Why isn't THAT on the news?
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