Who The !$#@& is Keisha?

When your husband is in Afghanistan, particularly on a day when he has told you he will be flying around in helicopters, here are some things that you don't want to happen:

You don't want to wake up at 1:12 am and wonder why you are awake;

You don't want to spend a few minutes hoping that you haven't been startled awake because something has happened to him;

And you definitely don't want the phone to ring at 1:16 am.

I suppose if for some reason all three of those things happen, you should be glad to hear "Is Keisha there?" rather than "This is the American Red Cross," but in the confusion surrounding the onset of cardiac arrest and the noise of my head exploding, I heard myself say "What?"

"Is Keisha there?"

"No." Click.

When I caught my breath and realized that what I thought was the end of my world was actually a very poorly timed wrong number, I switched into mother mode and began to formulate what I was going to say if the dumb ass called back and woke up the kids with the ringing.

This morning I have tried to think of a way to exact revenge on the moron who ruined my night. I suppose I could take his number from the caller ID and give him a well placed call back tonight. However, I think any punk dumb enough to: 1) call his girlfriend at 1:16 am and 2) ask for her repeatedly from someone who could be her mother and was obviously recently asleep, eventually will either wander into traffic or a drug deal gone bad and relieve the general public of his presence.